Friday, August 7, 2009

Glue revenge caper is one sticky wicket

Jim Stingl | In My Opinion | JSOnline

There's no way that what happens in Stockbridge stays in Stockbridge, especially when it's this krazy.

Four women's revenge against a three-timing man in the Wisconsin village is international news.

History will record that the biggest thing to ever happen in this community of 649 people is that a man had his penis Krazy Glued to his stomach by the women, including his wife, who ambushed him at a local motel July 30.

He's going to be OK, though for a while he may have to pee while standing on his head.

This story is making men grimace and women cheer. A New York Daily News online poll found 57% of readers voting for "Good for them; that husband got what he deserved," while just 23% thought the lesson he was taught was worse than the cheating.

I'm left wondering if women in Calumet County routinely carry Krazy Glue in their purses in case love turns sour, or if this was premeditated. Maybe they were sniffing the stuff first.

The four women face criminal charges. I found it surprising that holding this dude against his will is a felony, but connecting his junk to his stomach is a misdemeanor.

From the complaint filed in court we hear that Therese Ziemann, 48, met Donessa T. Davis Sr., on Craigslist and fell in love. But she learned he had a wife, Tracy Hood-Davis, 30, and at least one other girlfriend, Wendy Sewell, 43.

This is what's known as a love quadrangle. See, geometry class does apply to real life.

According to the complaint, Ziemann lured Davis to the Lakeview Motel with the promise of a massage. She tied up his arms and legs on the bed and blindfolded him. The trap was set. "He's tied up," she texted to Hood-Davis, Sewell and Ziemann's sister Michelle Belliveau, 43, who joined them.

The women were now his judge, jury and adhesioner. They scolded Davis for deceiving them, and they slapped him around. Then Ziemann decided it was time to stick 'im up with the glue. Summer lovin' happened so fast.

The women fled, leaving Davis to chew his way to freedom. His status as victim didn't last long; Davis was charged Thursday with child abuse and also with theft and harassment. The latter charges came after he allegedly threatened his wife after breaking into her Fond du Lac house last week. The couple have been living apart lately, the complaint says.

It might seem that Ziemann was expressing righteous anger by declaring an epoxy on her married lover's house. But The Associated Press wrote that when a reporter called Ziemann's residence for a comment, her husband answered the phone.

Sewell said she was ashamed and embarrassed about what happened. She went on national television to express this shame.

Someday, after the skin grows back, Davis might chuckle about all this, but it would have been very painful to have a belly laugh right after it happened. Still, though, it could be worse. Lorena Bobbitt would say, "You call that a punishment?"

By the way, there's no truth to the rumor that President Obama has invited the whole bunch to the White House for beer and conversation.

When I thought of Krazy Glue, I always pictured the construction worker in the TV commercial, hanging from his hard hat glued to a girder.

Unfortunately, a new image now pops to mind.

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