Junk Mail Subject Lines

Here are some hilarious subject lines from spam that I've received. Some of them are slightly dirty so be aware. I'll try to update these daily. Enjoy.

Note: Bad grammar has been left in intentionally.
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• Get rid of the flatness in your pants just in a few weeks.
• Grab one little blue pill and prepare yourself for the night of adventures.
• Where is your male strength?
• Offers authentic-looking fake University_Dip1oma/Degrees....cheap price offer! Limited time!
• Supersize it - don't wait another minute.
• Your stick will be in harmony with her hole.
• Women always are ready to sleep with men who look rich.
• If you have a small bulge, the world around you seems small as well.
• The hard friend in your pants will look up into the sky.
• Keep them coming back with a long schlong.
• Be happy in bed every night.
• Get the Cartier as your portable status symbol.
• Your embarrassment has died instead you have the pride.
• Women will jump in your bed like crazy rabbits.
• Turn your sausage into a wiener.
• Walk with pride around the pool having huge and lovely tool.
• Unzip your pants for some extra meat.
• Don't be ashamed of your tool like you were in high school.
• With that power in your pants you can seduce any women.
• With that pill you can try different experiments in bed.
• The magic blue pill will wake up your little friend in a few minutes.
• Give your male member the strength to remember.
• The life of a man with a small member is often boring and dull.
• Your embarrassment has died instead you have the pride.
• Grow a big one today.
• You will be blessed she will be impressed.
• Your bedroom will be your palace as with that size you will be the king.
• Magnify your love making stamina.
• Women love to be possessed by handsome men who are well-blessed.
• You are strong enough to have it whenever you want it.
• Every man knows: no erection - no party.
• You can forget about hearing the word NO.
• You will be a king not only among average guys but also among big guys.
• Tired of having a peanut in your pants?
• Change your stick from weak to thick.
• Feel your pants expand with the new formula.
• Decorate your body with a huge instrument.
• Every woman will respect you and your best male friend.
• Get King Kong in pants.
• She will really choke - believe us it's no joke.
• Just think of pleasant motions with your new proportions.
• This blue tablet kills ignorance in every woman.
• Lots of girls have the rule - not to go on date without a ruler.
• Women will beg you to walk naked and shake it.
• Women will go crazy from pleasure and men will go crazy from jealousy.
• Huge manhood is your ticket to paradise!
• Displeased with the measurement of your willy?
• Now you can stuff her like a Thanksgiving turkey by giving her more meat.
• Learn how to get a biggie stick very safe and very quick.
• Change the time in your pants from 5:30 to 12 sharp.
• All your dates end up spending the nights alone because of your miserable little friend?
• A small incher kills all the pleasure for both partners.
• You don't have to be green to be incredible.
• Your manhood will return to you like a boomerang.
• Free your small instrument from that big handlock.
• Your phone will not stop ringing - and all calls will be from gorgeous women.
• Now you will not get out of your bed for days.
• With that magic pill you will be magnetic for women.
• Don't keep her waiting - change those ants in your pants to a real beast.
• With every extra inch you climb one more stair on the ladder of masculinity.
• You won't hear "Good-byes" because of your size.
• She would become your property if you just had a bigger member.
• Your python will be able to work for days without a rest!
• Pull down your pants like a real king.
• Your bulge will be so noticeable you will have to wear a kilt.
• Now you can do it no matter how tired you are.
• Tired of your little friend staring at the floor?
• Keep her moaning and groaning all night long.
• Your chick will be impressed when she sees you undressed.
• Pretty women worldwide will know about your big pride.
• Welcome to big monsters in pants.
• Women will flow like a tide to see your biggie pride.
• Every inch of your body can be strong and virile if you want it.
• Your perfect mega beast will be 10 inches at least.
• Turn your bedroom life into a volcano of pleasure.
• Every time you are hungry for an erection, the blue pill can give it to you.
• The vigor in your pants will be unbreakable.
• Turning to Google instead of God?
• Any, even the most dirty desires will come true with our male enhancing set.
• Orgasmic wonderland can be yours.
• Your little guy watches you tie your shoes.
• Provide your girlfriend with a sleepless night.
• Rectify your bed issues, right here, right now.
• Get a pole the Hulk would be proud of.
• Be bigger than ever before now with organ pills.
• Get a pole larger than your forearm.
• Even famous movie stars would give up everything for a bigger tool.
• Women will be losing their minds over your bulge.
• Women don't like it tender they need a major member.
• You can have a mega tool like a horse or even mule.
• Women will be able to read the number of your inches on your forehead.
• Women would love to lick your stick more than a candy.
• Your manhood will become a true locomotive, hot and unstoppable.
• Your nose is hung because you are not hung?
• Women crave men with bigger dongs.
• The secrets of women attraction lie in the size of your male friend.
• Your perfect mega beast will be 10 inches at least.
• A bigger instrument functions much better than a small one.
• Be proud of your biggest achievement that shines in your pants.
• You will be mega cool if you get a bigger tool.
• Your new improved stick will be bigger than the brick.
• Are you a victim of cruel nature because your inadequate size?
• Turn her on like an engine.
• Your jeans will need a stronger zipper as too much meat will be pressing on them.
• Women will stare at your member like at the museum.
• With such a developed huge monster in your pants you can catch a real gold fish.
• The truth is: a fat woman is not attractive!
• Your big tool will be like a soldier: big, strong and always ready.
• Small banana brings small problems, big banana brings no problems.
• Why Young Beautiful Women Can Get You Killed and What You Can Do.
• Your wife always mentions your little dimensions?
• The longer your instrument is, the shorter the ladder to success.
• Your small instrument hurts your whole body and personality?
• You might be making millions by showing your beast in the public.
• If your hair can grow why your member can't.
• Now a large, long and thick member in pants has a name.
• Are you sick because the size of your stick?
• With a giant device you will feel a bigger man.
• Now you don't have to wear bigger shoes to trick women around you.
• here are just so many things that you can do with a bigger member.
• Your member will always get the highest grades.
• Your member will be like a magnet for beautiful women.
• Your stiff wang = her moans.
• She won't need a magnifying glass from now to find your tool.
• We know the method to get your small buddy up.
  
• She will not need a magnifying glass from now to find your instrument.
• From no you don't need a crane to lift your tool up.
• Have a look at drugs of high quality but friendly prices.
• You have a dwarf in your pants?
• Your rod will be faultless weapon.
• Drink just one unit and her moans will fill the air with passion.
• Turn your meat battleship on!
• You could be King Kong with a monster dong.
• Extending your male tool means winning a war.
• To the stars your manhood flies when you are happy with your size.
• Every man dies for a bigger size - so you can stay alive.
• You don't have to look like trash even if you have cash.
• Have a bone to pick her?
• Make your rod staying!
• We know the method to wake up your small buddy.
• Now you will be able to please any size-queen.
• Your device is so petite she scarcely finds it in bed.
• Your nose is hung because you are not hung?
• Women love enormous tool and believe us - that's rule.
• Your trunk has shrunk? We know how to renew its size.
• Shove your giant and give her real tension.
• When you would like to feel like a superman, nothing must stand on your way.
• The best way to take revenge on your ex is to make your member bigger.
• Powder for custard launcher.
• Doping for your pork sword.
• Knowing the time is very important. Get a watch.
• If watering your instrument doesn't help it grow we know what works.
• Make your knob firm like steel.
• Bigger penis = Happy girl
• Ladies like long action flatboat hayseed unhandy semipellucid.
• A complete gentleman in bed is all the time ready.
• Deeper in her entrails.
• A fabulous instrument will give you a fabulous reputation.
• If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument.
• You don't need to kill yourself over that fat belly.
• If you had a larger thing in pants, your life would have been better.
• Good shells for your love gun!
• We can't give you charm of Cazanova: But we can give you wood-on of Ron Jeremy!
• Make your zipper knight the best in the whole town.
• Charge your love generator.
• Enhancing your male weapon means winning a competition.
• Nothing makes a man manlier than a few extra inches in pants.
• Being well-endowed is the biggest gift the nature can give to a man.
• Girl seeks fun, Carhart wearing man.
• Make your lovestick your wifes favorite toy.
• Feel the wonder of having a tremendous instrument.
• Want your meaty lever to go up and forward all night?
• Nothing can make your girlfriend luckier than your big rod.
• Your stick will be big not only when you close your eyes.
• Enjoy the delicious taste of having a monster in your pants.
• Having a big beast in your pants will make you a beast in bed.
• Change your little pecker to enormous beast.
• Your sweetheart will be on cloud nine if you enlarge your stick.
• Even the shyest girls like it thick and long.
• The more inches in your pants, the more women in your bedroom.
• Nothing can make your girlfriend luckier than your big rod.
• To bang her without a rest, you just need a little support.
• You can trick the nature and make a monster out of your timid animal.
• With this you will go through your girl like a bulldozer.
• The most passionate lovers are the men with big hoses.
• The longer your tool is the shorter the way to popularity.
• Your girl will love to jump on your super hard pole!
• Women don't care about your money as long as your trunk is long and hard.
• Girls prefer well hung men Women will be singing odes to the majestic monster in your pants.
  

Glue revenge caper is one sticky wicket

Jim Stingl | In My Opinion | JSOnline

There's no way that what happens in Stockbridge stays in Stockbridge, especially when it's this krazy.

Four women's revenge against a three-timing man in the Wisconsin village is international news.

History will record that the biggest thing to ever happen in this community of 649 people is that a man had his penis Krazy Glued to his stomach by the women, including his wife, who ambushed him at a local motel July 30.

He's going to be OK, though for a while he may have to pee while standing on his head.

This story is making men grimace and women cheer. A New York Daily News online poll found 57% of readers voting for "Good for them; that husband got what he deserved," while just 23% thought the lesson he was taught was worse than the cheating.

I'm left wondering if women in Calumet County routinely carry Krazy Glue in their purses in case love turns sour, or if this was premeditated. Maybe they were sniffing the stuff first.

The four women face criminal charges. I found it surprising that holding this dude against his will is a felony, but connecting his junk to his stomach is a misdemeanor.

From the complaint filed in court we hear that Therese Ziemann, 48, met Donessa T. Davis Sr., on Craigslist and fell in love. But she learned he had a wife, Tracy Hood-Davis, 30, and at least one other girlfriend, Wendy Sewell, 43.

This is what's known as a love quadrangle. See, geometry class does apply to real life.

According to the complaint, Ziemann lured Davis to the Lakeview Motel with the promise of a massage. She tied up his arms and legs on the bed and blindfolded him. The trap was set. "He's tied up," she texted to Hood-Davis, Sewell and Ziemann's sister Michelle Belliveau, 43, who joined them.

The women were now his judge, jury and adhesioner. They scolded Davis for deceiving them, and they slapped him around. Then Ziemann decided it was time to stick 'im up with the glue. Summer lovin' happened so fast.

The women fled, leaving Davis to chew his way to freedom. His status as victim didn't last long; Davis was charged Thursday with child abuse and also with theft and harassment. The latter charges came after he allegedly threatened his wife after breaking into her Fond du Lac house last week. The couple have been living apart lately, the complaint says.

It might seem that Ziemann was expressing righteous anger by declaring an epoxy on her married lover's house. But The Associated Press wrote that when a reporter called Ziemann's residence for a comment, her husband answered the phone.

Sewell said she was ashamed and embarrassed about what happened. She went on national television to express this shame.

Someday, after the skin grows back, Davis might chuckle about all this, but it would have been very painful to have a belly laugh right after it happened. Still, though, it could be worse. Lorena Bobbitt would say, "You call that a punishment?"

By the way, there's no truth to the rumor that President Obama has invited the whole bunch to the White House for beer and conversation.

When I thought of Krazy Glue, I always pictured the construction worker in the TV commercial, hanging from his hard hat glued to a girder.

Unfortunately, a new image now pops to mind.

Pimp problem not new to Milwaukee

Eugene Kane | In My Opinion |Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Online

As shocking as it may seem to some, Milwaukee is no stranger to what is known as pimping.

Due to its close proximity to Chicago - the city known as the undisputed pimping capital of the Midwest - Milwaukee has earned a reputation in some circles as a place where a number of nationally known pimps first got their starts.

(No, I don't think that's something the local tourist board should start promoting.)

The latest is Derrick Avery, a 42-year-old Milwaukee native, who was arrested in Las Vegas last week and charged with running a prostitution ring for more than a decade that often used young females as young as 14 years old. Avery was known by the street name of "Pimp Snooky" and apparently built a network of sex-for-sale entrepreneurs who traveled across the country, including Milwaukee, Chicago and Las Vegas.

Avery was featured on a 1999 HBO documentary called "Pimps Up, Ho's Down," which captured him doing his dirty business for the cameras. (Another alleged Milwaukee pimp, Ken Ivy, a.k.a. "Pimpin' Ken," was also featured in the film.)

In the documentary, Avery explained his philosophy of pimping, which basically came down to finding weak-minded young women and girls to exploit. Avery and other pimps described it as a form of mind control; according to some experts, it's no surprise many of the girls came from dysfunctional homes with no positive male role models.

That might be one reason so many of them end up calling their pimps "Daddy."

Avery's arrest was just the latest case involving a Milwaukeean busted on accusations of this kind of sex trafficking. In February, a federal grand jury indicted a Milwaukee father and son team charged with running a sex ring featuring young women. Several high-profile drug dealers were also involved in prostitution activities on the side.

This is a city where, legend has it, a Players' Ball featuring pimps from all over the region was held years ago at a respectable downtown hotel. According to the story, nobody realized what kind of affair had been booked until after all the flashy black guys in jewelry and fur coats started showing up with women in short, tight skirts on their arms.

I have known about several black-owned nightclubs over the years with reputations for being havens for local pimps. I have also interviewed youth counselors and social workers who believe what many of the young girls seduced into a life of prostitution have in common is a crippling lack of self-esteem easily manipulated by smooth-talking older men.

The glorification of pimps in hip-hop culture has also contributed to the problem. Back in 1969, a Chicago pimp named Iceberg Slim published a popular autobiographical novel called "Pimp: The Story of My Life," that defined the genre for a generation. Slim's real name was Robert Beck; he was born in Chicago but spent significant parts of his childhood in Milwaukee.

I remember reading "Pimp" as a teenager; back then, it was considered one of those "dirty books" you had to hide from parents.

I don't believe Milwaukee's in danger of becoming a pimp capital, but recent cases speak to the larger danger facing many young women and girls in the community. They need to be on guard against slick father figures out there who want to make you sell not just your body but your soul.

What kind of daddy would make you to do that?

Talking Of The Death Of Journalism

July 9th, 2009 | researchmaterial

I’ve been so busy today that I’ve not had time to follow this huge story, and I guess it hasn’t broken internationally yet:

Rupert Murdoch’s News Group Newspapers has paid out more than £1m to settle legal cases that threatened to reveal evidence of his journalists’ repeated involvement in the use of criminal methods to get stories.

The payments secured secrecy over out-of-court settlements in three cases that threatened to expose evidence of Murdoch journalists using private investigators who illegally hacked into the mobile phone messages of numerous public figures and to gain unlawful access to confidential personal data including tax records, social security files, bank statements and itemised phone bills. Cabinet ministers, MPs, actors and sports stars were all targets of the private investigators.

Water from the algae-filled Chaohu Lake in Hefei, Anhui

A fisherman fills his cupped palms with water from the algae-filled Chaohu Lake in Hefei, Anhui province, June 16, 2009. The country has invested 51 billion yuan towards the construction of 2,712 projects for the treatment of eight rivers and lakes including Huaihe River, Haihe River, Liaohe River, Chaohu Lake, Dianchi Lake, Songhua River, the Three Gorges region of the Yangtze River and its upstream area, Xinhua News Agency reported.

REUTERS/Stringer

Blow filled shark carcasses!

Mexican naval officers stand guard after cutting open more than 20 shark carcasses filled with slabs of cocaine after checking a container ship in a container port in the southern Mexico state of Yucatan June 16, 2009. Mexico's navy seized more than a tonne of cocaine stuffed inside frozen sharks, as drug gangs under military pressure go to greater lengths to conceal narcotics bound for the United States.

REUTERS/Argely Salaza

Tattoo gone wrong: Stars and gripes forever?

Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:04am EDT

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian teenager has told police how she emerged from a tattoo parlor with 56 stars over one side of her face, rather than the three she had asked for, prosecutors said on Tuesday.

"I said this part, the top, is ok, but not the rest," Kimberley Vlaeminck from the city of Kortrijk, 90 km (56 miles) northwest of Brussels, told Belgian broadcaster VRT.

The 18-year-old said she fell asleep during the procedure, and woke up in pain when her nose was being tattooed.

A spokesman for Kortrijk prosecutors' office said police were investigating after a complaint from the teenager.

The tattoo artist said Vlaeminck had agreed to 56 stars.

"She agreed, but when her father saw it, the trouble started," Belgian newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws quoted the man as saying.

Vlaeminck said she wanted to keep the tattoos on her forehead but would have the rest removed.

(Reporting by Antonia van de Velde)

Atari 2600 iPod Dock

Creator Byron Casebier, at Gizmodo:

Here is my weak (and slightly unfinished) Atari iPod Dock. I thought sharing may create interest for someone that can do this better. As far as specs, I gutted a broken, iPod clock radio and put it all inside the Atari.

See a gallery o'er the Giz: The Atari 2600 iPod Dock

Ancient mass grave found on Olympics site

Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:44am EDT

By Stefano Ambrogi

LONDON (Reuters) - An ancient burial pit containing 45 severed skulls, that could be a mass war grave dating back to Roman times, has been found under a road being built for the 2012 British Olympics.

Archaeologists, who have only just begun excavating the site, say they do not yet know who the bones might belong to.

"We think that these dismembered bodies are likely to be native Iron Age Britons. The question is -- how did they die and who killed them," said dig head, David Score, of Oxford Archaeology.

"Were they fighting amongst themselves? Were they executed by the Romans? Did they die in a battle with the Romans?

"The exciting scenario for us possibly is that there were skirmishes with the invading Romans and that's how they ended up chopped up in a pit," he told Reuters.

When the main Roman invasion force landed in Britain in AD 43, Claudius' legions moved swiftly through western England to subdue fierce Celtic tribes.

The skulls and other bones were unearthed at a place called Ridgeway Hill, on the construction site of a new major relief road to Weymouth, on the Dorset coast in southwest England.

The seaside town -- in the heart of Thomas Hardy country -- is to host sailing events for the London Olympics.

The grave site is close to Maiden Castle -- Europe's largest Iron Age hill fort where local tribes are said to have staged a last stand against the Roman legions after the invasion.

Some historians believe the Romans sacked the site, butchering its population including women and children, before burning it to the ground.

Score said they had counted 45 skulls so far in the 6-meter wide pit, together with a tangle of torsos, arms and legs, More could be found in the coming weeks.

Most of the skulls were those of young men, supporting the theory they could have been killed in battle or executed en masse.

"One of the things that we will be looking for is do they have sword cut marks on the bones, and how were the heads dismembered: prior to or after death in an act of victory," Score said.

Archaeologists say they could also be Roman citizens or indigenous people who had died through disease or disaster.

Few artifacts have so far been found with the bones, though pottery shards dating to the late Iron Age and early Roman period have been found scattered around the pit.

"It is rare to find a burial site like this one," Score said. "There are lots of different types of burial where skeletons may be aligned along a compass axis or in a crouched position, but to find something like this is just incredible."

(Editing by Steve Addison)

Afgan musicians attacked at wedding!?

Mon Jun 15, 2009 8:37am EDT

JALALABAD, Afghanistan (Reuters) - Taliban fighters beat musicians, shaved their heads and left them tied to trees overnight because they performed at an Afghan wedding, a village tribal chief said Monday, a sign of the fighters' growing influence.

While in power from 1996-2001, the Taliban banned music as un-Islamic.

The militants have returned to areas in the east and south of the country, where violence has sharply spiked in recent years. They attack government officials, Afghan police, foreign troops and schools that teach girls, another practice they forbid.

"A party was going on when a group of Taliban grabbed five musicians and started beating them and smashing their musical instruments," said Rahmatullah Khan, a head of Merke Khel village in the east of the country.

"The musicians were tied up with rope to trees last night and villagers found them in the morning when going out for prayers," Khan said.

Khan said Taliban fighters shaved the heads of the musicians and made them take oaths in the presence of villagers that they would not sing or play music at weddings again.

Afghan weddings and engagement parties in rural areas are traditionally celebrated with hundreds of guests, music and singing that often continues until late at night.

(Reporting by Rafiq Sherzad; Writing by Hamid Shalizi)